I always wondered what it would be like raising a boy. Growing up and only having a sister I really didn’t know what I was in for. I guess fundamentally I didn’t think it would be that different but as I’ve watched my oldest little boy Kircher turn into all boy verses seeing some of my friends with girls I think there is a huge difference between raising a girl and raising a boy!
My little guy is into trains, trains, trains, cars and more trains. He is obsessed! I don’t know how any child could be content to play with the same toy day in and day out for 2 years but the kid loves his trains. He also has a limitless amount of energy. He never stops even when he’s exhausted. He gravitates toward anything that could cause a mess. Whether it’s puddles, mud, mowed grass, gravel, if it’s dirty he is all in. He loves to play rough, talks at deafening decibels and forget about trying to get him to walk. It’s only running for this kid! While all of this makes him cute, exhausting and a challenge sometimes, it’s the tender part of my little fellow that is the best part, in my opinion, of raising a boy.
Kircher loves his momma, daddy, his Honey and Hank (my parents), his Papa and Zanny and all of his “best friends.” I never really thought of loyalty as a trait you would find in a child but my little man is fiercely loyal when it comes to his “inner circle.” He loves to snuggle, espcially with me, and he makes it known to all how much he loves his momma. While I’m sure those raising a girl would argue they can also be so wonderful, I now understand the incredible relationship that forms between a mom and a son. Raising a boy gives you a special appreciation for all the good men you meet. There is nothing Kircher can do that will change the spark he affects in my heart every time he talks, smiles or hugs on me. That little guy will be 40 years old and I know in my heart that although he may love many girls, hopefully one day a wife and daughters, there is no one that will hold the same spot in his heart as I will.
I’m not naive to think that one day he’ll prefer me, or that he would choose me over the woman he will one day choose to share his life with, I know that Mom will always hold a special spot. There is a tender spot that God created in small boys reserved only for their moms. As I’ve watch him grow and turn more rambunctious, or sometimes ornery or mean spirited as any three year old can act, I’m continuously grateful for the opportunity God has given me in raising a boy.
I truly believe that discipline from both parental parties is necessary and don’t negate the importance of constructive criticism. I do think though it is my special place as a mom of this little warrior to show him love through discipline, to be the gentle guider that allows him to mess up and then give him positive encouragement to do it better or differently next time. To not always tell him to toughen up when he gets over emotional, to allow him to be vulnerable but also encourage him to lead confidently. I think we have a unique position as their mother to help encourage them to be the family and spiritual leaders we need in the future generation.
I often feel my heart strings tug as I hear God gently whisper to me… “It’s okay to discipline, but instead of showing him anger, show him love in your discipline. Be effective through explanation and example.” I can’t say that I’m not intimidated by the challenge of raising a boy. I just hope that someday his wife, family and those around him can reap the benefits of a relationship with a man who loves the Lord, has strong character and loves and serves his family fiercely. As my friend Joanna reminded me, some days it’s the little ways we are called to serve our children. Things like dishes, diapers, pb & j etc. But teaching them the art of serving others with a loving and grateful heart is something that is often a struggle in the hustle of the day to day. My prayer in raising a boy is that he will reflect Christ, and I know in order for him to do so, so must I!
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Katie Miller (918) 914-2677 or kbksing@yahoo.com
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